Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
