I think I died a long time ago.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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