She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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