This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
