i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
