there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
