My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize