he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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