my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
