About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
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Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
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Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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