ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
