She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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