I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
