Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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