Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
