i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
