Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
