I like my sex mixed with concussions.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize