great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
