I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
