i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
