Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
