Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she looked like the before picture.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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