Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
