when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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