If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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