Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's never too late to be topless.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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