No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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