I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
