Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
