I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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