your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
