is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
