My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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