And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
