He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
