I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
