She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
