The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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