Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
