I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
