They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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