how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I deserve this hangover.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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