Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize