If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
