ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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