Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I looked at my own cervix.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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