thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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