a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
