Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
