We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
