he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
