Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
