a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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