Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
