I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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