Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
